" We are together" mentality


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So you ask me what "We are together mentality" is all about? Well... It is a state of resting in your comfort zone because you have others like you-in the same state, predicament, zone, situation,problem, following the same approach....
I used to have this mentality but it has not helped at all. Realising that life is a sole race and I'm on my own has changed my mind-set.

Before now, it was when I'm going to get married and the " We are together mentality" reminds me that Sheneneh, Lerato, Paloma and Lagbaja are also not yet married so why make a fuss forgetting we are different individuals (even if we are within the same age group with different goals, stories, aspirations, journeys and destinations.

It is not just marriage alone. How about writing an exam and the performance was nothing to write home about. Would it be proper to throw a pity party with those of you that performed badly and use that to console yourself that after all many people failed so what's the noise and fretting about? How about analysing were one went wrong to do better in future rather than rejoicing that we are many that failed together.

How about going to work late because other colleagues have been doing so and keep getting away with it? The day you receive query or a sack letter then you might realise that you are accountable to yourself and responsible for your actions. Bad habits are easier to form than good ones.

There's another scenario particularly for ladies. You are in a gathering and you feel intimidated by prettier ladies. The “We are together” mentality would push one to relate ladies that one believes are their category (not so fine) so that the level of intimidation can be managed. It might not be appearance only; it could also be certificates or even exposure or knowledge or amount in bank account.
This is where I borrow the adage that" water get it own level". You don't want to fall your hand so it best you play safe and "belong". That way you know you are not alone!

"We are together” mentality is about comparisons in negative light. But coming to think of it making comparisons has never helped, or did it? Share please if it did.
"We are together" mentality does not motivate rather it encourages one to be complacent...do you agree?

Comments

Unknown said…
I call it the 'I am better than you comparison syndrome'..... Its killing. in actual fact, you are not better but simply because the other person is better and you don't want to look inferior, you decide to say you are better.
It is better to access yourself, Know who you are, Identify your strength and Weakness, and then forge a great path for youself, in doing so, people will buy into your Uniqueness. "WE ARE TOGETHER" MENTALITY, would have been a thing of the past.
Yea...been there, done that...To every man thine own. we should be in competition with only ourselves, striving to be better than the person of yesterday