When people only reach out when they want to borrow money

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It's been quite a while since she last reached out to me. Before then, I had been the one doing the reaching out severally just to check up on her to know her welfare and all. I literally gave up my move to rekindle our friendship. All of sudden, out of blues, she reached out to me. And it was because she wanted to borrow money, imagine? It was only when she needed help that she deemed it necessary to reach out.

We had got to know ourselves as undergraduates of the same university. We had come from the same department. We also stayed in the same hostel, so we got pretty close. Then, she could borrow my slippers and I could also borrow her clothes. No one would suspect foul play. However, we seemed to drift apart after graduation. It is obvious distance, family, work, probably lack of shared interests created the communication barriers.

Maybe  she is too preoccupied with her work. Or something was just taking most of her time? What I consider annoying how they reach out to you out of blues when it gets critical for them. But must it be that it only when she needs help that she remembers the other person exists? It is gratifying to be that person that one would 'sees as the Central bank' in the face of a need or an emergency. However, it does not erase the fact that you are in a way 'being used'.  

On this fateful day, she kept bombarding me with calls.  Can you relate to these certain calls and messages that you are kind of unresponsive to? These calls and messages just tell you 'they' want to take from you or need your help.  

While I was hoping that nothing went wrong, just as I was a hundred percent sure that Caro needed some money most likely. Having been observing her trend, I became accustomed to her calling only when a need arises before everything turns back to status quo. Picking up my call, I exchanged pleasantries with her and then she dropped the bombshell.

"Please they are owing money in my workplace, can you raise me some money?,"

"Just a moment, please, let me get back to you "I responded and stuck to my words.

Later on that day, I got to know that she needed money to settle "pending debts for an ongoing project". According to her, her clients were also owing her some money for some months which made her run into debts. No wonder she needed to source for money badly.




I am also reminded of a family member- an aunt. If we were to give an award for busyness, she would take home several. She does not just have time. But when she needs someone to go on errands, then she remembers she has a 'younger sister' somewhere.

These 'set of people' who only reach out in the phase of need could be family members, friends or even relatives. They only get to contact you when they need your help. Most times, it is for financial assistance, other times it is because you fit the perfect description to render the solicited help.

With so many things that one seems to occupy ones time, it might be fair to not blame the other person for lack of care and neglect. Besides these days, everyone seems so cut up with the rat race that they rarely have time for themselves talk less of family or even friends. So should she be excused for her behaviour? This goes without saying that people still strive to make out time for those they care about despite their busy schedule.



When human relationships are parasitic, one party ends up being used. I think that even if there is nothing to say, and an encouragement and information or pleasantries would do just fine.




In the words of Rick Warren; "people who only contact you when then need something are acquaintances not friends."





Let me add this, she is kind of not happy with me. The money she is requesting for is beyond my 'capacity' but she won't accept. I really wish I had the money that people think I have, then I could have done a little bit better.




And I followed what a wise man once said: "You should not borrow money you can't give away."By doing so, it won't pain you too much if the borrower can't pay up on the day of repayment. And you can be rest assured that it could have passed for a gift so you don't mind. Meanwhile, I am awaiting my repayment from her.