Nikita Nkese: A woman with strong self-management skills stays in control

I love to refer to her as my President, Nikita Nkese is a down-to-earth lady, one who is on a mission to make social impact. She is an Associate Fellow of The Royal Commonwealth Society, London.  Currently, she serves in the capacity of an international judge for The Queen’s Commonwealth Essay Competition in Nigeria since 2019. The competition receives more than 20, 000 entries annually from children in 54 Commonwealth countries.

With a PGD in Education from National Teachers' Institute, Kaduna, Nikita also has a B.Sc in Sociology from University of Calabar, Cross River State. She describes herself as  Child/Teens counsellor. She is also the author of a bestselling children's book, a seasoned educationist, child activist, writer, and proofreader.

Like the proverbial goldfish with no hiding place, Nikita is the recipient of the  'Award of Appreciation' by The Royal Commonwealth Society headed by Queen Elizabeth ll. 

Omote Ro Dhe caught up this ex-beauty queen in chat as she opened more about what she is all about and stands for. Read excerpts below:

 1. There is the belief that it is difficult to find a lady that has both beauty and brains. Thanks for nullifying this notion as a two-time beauty queen. What was the experience like and how did you use that platform to promote what you stand for? 

My journey into pageantry started in 2009 when I contested and won the prestigious crown of Miss University of Calabar. In 2011, I contested and won Miss Niger Delta – (Queen of the 9 oil-producing states in Nigeria). In between these two pageants, I did try out others.

 

As Miss University of Calabar 2009, I had to learn fast and adjust to the demands of the position and its environment, because I was a fresher in the University. It was quite demanding but I worked under the most amazing Dean of Student Affairs - Professor Joe Asor; The President and Vice President of the Student Union Government then were quite friendly. I remember being awarded by the SUG for being an outstanding Queen of the University. 

December 2012 concluded my reign as Miss Niger Delta. On the night I handed it over, The founder of the pageant Mr. Sodin, made a sentence that got me teary, he said, "… This is one queen who gave this organization a non-scandalous reign. We are so proud of her and wish her the very best..." 

These awards and compliments were given because I worked hard and smartly to promote godly living, decent dressing amongst the female folks, a clean female hostel, quality education in public primary schools, and numerous humanitarian services. 

All through my reign as a 2-time national queen, I tried to be intentional about what I say and do because I longed for my lifestyle to influence and inspire others. As I received my honour awards on the two earlier episodes, they were strong indicators that consciously and unconsciously, I have left my footprints on the sands of time.

2. As an Associate Fellow of The Royal Commonwealth Society, London, can you enlighten us more about the competition and what it seeks to achieve?

The Queen’s Commonwealth Essay Competition is the oldest international writing competition in the world, dating back to 1883. It covers 54 Commonwealth countries of the world with an average of 25,000 entries annually. By privilege, since 2019, I’m one of only 8 Nigerians, chosen as judges for the competition, other judges are non-Nigerians. 

The Queen’s Commonwealth Essay Competition (QCEC) seeks to give young commonwealth citizens an opportunity to share their thoughts, ideas and experiences on key global issues and have their hard work and achievement celebrated internationally. Winners are invited to travel to the United Kingdom for a week of educational and cultural activities, usually held at Buckingham Palace.

3. You are a bestselling author of a children's book, why focus on children's books?

I have been privileged to teach and mentor children, teens, adolescents, and young adults for 10 years now and counting, both as a classroom instructor and a certified counsellor. Daily communication with these age groups opened my eyes to their fears and unspoken words. 

This inspired me to put together stories that will cement morals and introduce them to new people and healthy ideas. Documented evidence has shown that kids read more books than adults, hence the best time to inculcate morals into humans through books is when they are young.

4. Being bilingual is an advantage, how has speaking in French helped you in your line of work?

My basic knowledge of French has contributed greatly in building my self-confidence, made it easy for me to communicate with French speakers, be more creative, and most importantly, be more tolerant towards other cultures.

5. What keeps you going on days you lack motivation? 

True, they are days I feel like giving up but the beauty of my dreams won't let me. Remembering the smiles on children’s faces during and after Sweetest Kiddies Spelling Bee, the laughter on students and families when we share educational and food relief materials via Sweetest Kiddies Sanctuary and the hope our counselling sessions inspires in victims is a kiss of heaven to me. These and many other things keep me going when I feel down.

6. You must be very fashionable as an ex-beauty queen. How would you describe your fashion and style? 

Thank you for the compliment. I have been told this often and it sure makes me blush. The secret is, I keep it simple and decent. A quote that has stood out for me over the years is by Rachel Zoe “Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.”

7. As a learned career professional, what is your take on education especially for girls?

 

In the words of Angelina Jolie, “There is no greater pillar of stability than a strong, free and educated woman.” 

Education is not just the key, it is the entire building. It is pivotal to the change we long to see in the world. When girls have access to education, they develop the knowledge, confidence and life skills necessary to navigate and adapt to an ever-changing world. Its been proven that every society that takes the education of a girlchild seriously, does far better than one that doesn’t. 

Quoting another legend “Till women are more rationally educated, the progress in human virtue and improvement in knowledge must receive continual checks.” Mary Wollstonecraft.

8. What is that one skill you believe every girl/woman in today's world should strive to have?

 

It’s very important that every girl/woman acquires and improves their self-management skill. Self-management is our ability to manage our behaviours, thoughts, and emotions consciously and productively. Such skills as problem-solving, resisting stress, multitasking, communicating clearly, managing time, strengthening memory, and exercising often are all key examples of self-management skills. 

A woman with strong self-management skills knows what to do and how to act in different situations. For instance, they know how to control their anger when a colleague or customer steps on their toe. They know how to avoid distractions while working, so they can maintain focus and stay productive. Know when to take time out and nurture yourself. Self—management is deeply connected with emotional intelligence.

9. Do you have some projects you are working on currently and can you share them with us? 

Definitely. Sweetest Kiddies Empire runs her programs all through the year. Currently, my team and I, are working on an outreach program to public schools in rural communities of Cross River State. We shall be sharing back-to-school packs containing textbooks in all the subjects, stationaries, toiletries, sanitary pads, school uniforms, etc. to more than 2500 pupils and students.

10. Who are some of the women that you look up to and why?

I read a lot of autobiographies of female leaders, women in business, and other facets of life. Nonetheless, some women stand out for me - The selfless life of Late Mary Mitchell Slessor and Diana, Princess of Wales. The boldness of Amb. Arikana Chihombori Quao, The giving life of Ellen DeGeneres, the lioness spirit of Oprah Winfrey, The integrity nature of Angela Merkel, The calm and collected nature of Agbani Darego, Confidence Staveley, and the silent achieving nature of Genevieve Nnaji and Omotola Jalade. These women and more, have greatly inspired me to be who I am today and more.

11. What advice do you have for young women pursuing purpose?

 

Be audacious. Don't let anyone or anything deter you. Stay focused on your life’s assignment and unseen forces will come to your aid. Read. Travel. Be a giver. Respect other people’s opinions and be kind to all regardless. 

Most importantly, remain in constant communication with your Creator