Church Panorama
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| Photo credit: Pininterest |
Sister Praise rendered the worship songs in her mellifluous voice. Her admirers, chiefly among them, was Bro Tripping, who wished that she was his to listen to forever.Meanwhile, her haters were finding fault.
"She is not even fine" said Sister Beauty in her mind.
"Na voice we go chop"grumbled another.
"All these sisters self ,I don't trust them" another backbiter complained.
Everyone was supposed to be in spirit. It was a mixture of the good,bad and ugly in the Sunday service. You know the saying that the church can be likened to a hospital housing sick people, while some are responding to treatment, others are not.
Only for Sister Holier-Than-Thou to chip in her observation:
"Why must she always be the one to lead the song heralding the pastor's arrival to preach the sermon"
Then, the Pastor took his stand at the podium and all stood up.
"Turn to your neighbour" The pastor instructed "Say to him/her that I'm blessed to be a blessing"
The congregation obeyed diligently.
He didn't stop there.He continued:
"Hold your neighbours hand and pray for him/her"
Not everyone in the congregation followed suit. There were murmurings of "Yay ! Ebola,Olorun maje"
Those who were hesitant to hold hands just managed to flash their teeth and waved.
"Amen?" the Pastor continued with his exhortation
"Amen" was the response from the congregation
"You are going to give your tithes and offerings to the lord!" He went on" And Sister Praise...lead us"
"Sister Praise again!" Sister Beauty lamented inaudibly
"You go girl" Bro Tripping chuckled
The procession for the taking of the offering and tithes was to be done row by row.Suddenly, Mrs Flamboyant started to rake"Yay! Egbami "
"What happened?"Concerned members asked
Everyone was supposed to be in spirit. It was a mixture of the good,bad and ugly in the Sunday service. You know the saying that the church can be likened to a hospital housing sick people, while some are responding to treatment, others are not.
Only for Sister Holier-Than-Thou to chip in her observation:
"Why must she always be the one to lead the song heralding the pastor's arrival to preach the sermon"
Then, the Pastor took his stand at the podium and all stood up.
"Turn to your neighbour" The pastor instructed "Say to him/her that I'm blessed to be a blessing"
The congregation obeyed diligently.
He didn't stop there.He continued:
"Hold your neighbours hand and pray for him/her"
Not everyone in the congregation followed suit. There were murmurings of "Yay ! Ebola,Olorun maje"
Those who were hesitant to hold hands just managed to flash their teeth and waved.
"Amen?" the Pastor continued with his exhortation
"Amen" was the response from the congregation
"You are going to give your tithes and offerings to the lord!" He went on" And Sister Praise...lead us"
"Sister Praise again!" Sister Beauty lamented inaudibly
"You go girl" Bro Tripping chuckled
The procession for the taking of the offering and tithes was to be done row by row.Suddenly, Mrs Flamboyant started to rake"Yay! Egbami "
"What happened?"Concerned members asked
" I kept it...then I went to...laptop...phone...money...it was right here" Mrs Flamboyant was gesticulating as she made incomplete sentences " Na here e dey naa???" She was now checking inside the offering envelope looking for what she lost.
What went wrong?
Her hand bag that contained an ipad and expensive phone had disappeared. But it was just a short distance from the offering box to her seat. So who was the Usain Bolt that performed wonders in that few minutes???
"We will get to the bottom of this..." The head Usher, Bro Like-seriously assured
Meanwhile, the service went on while Mrs Flamboyant was searching for her hand bag in every nook and cranny of the church auditorium-under the pews, even in the women's gele -everywhere imaginable and unimaginable. They had to calm her down. She was distracting the order of service.
However, the sermon went on. It was about sin-big sin and small sin. According to the Pastor sin was sin. The pastor ended that God was going to judge all offenders. Unknown to him, some members of his congregation were engaged in theft,robbery and prostitution and they were giving their tithes and offerings. It was brought to the Pastor notice of the theft that went on during service. According to him, he was going to invoke a curse on the thief and if he/she did not return the stolen item, the repercussion would very grave.
The Sunday Service had ended and every body went home leaving Mrs Flambouyant still searching for her lost bag!
What went wrong?
Her hand bag that contained an ipad and expensive phone had disappeared. But it was just a short distance from the offering box to her seat. So who was the Usain Bolt that performed wonders in that few minutes???
"We will get to the bottom of this..." The head Usher, Bro Like-seriously assured
Meanwhile, the service went on while Mrs Flamboyant was searching for her hand bag in every nook and cranny of the church auditorium-under the pews, even in the women's gele -everywhere imaginable and unimaginable. They had to calm her down. She was distracting the order of service.
However, the sermon went on. It was about sin-big sin and small sin. According to the Pastor sin was sin. The pastor ended that God was going to judge all offenders. Unknown to him, some members of his congregation were engaged in theft,robbery and prostitution and they were giving their tithes and offerings. It was brought to the Pastor notice of the theft that went on during service. According to him, he was going to invoke a curse on the thief and if he/she did not return the stolen item, the repercussion would very grave.
The Sunday Service had ended and every body went home leaving Mrs Flambouyant still searching for her lost bag!
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