Abimbola Victoria Oliyide: Be faithful in little assignments to unlock the next level

Sally has been holding on to her ex-boyfriend hoping he would return after a bad breakup. She finds it difficult to move on even now that he is happily married. Hurting and pained, Sally can't seem to enter any other relationship because she is still entangled with her ex. To her, what they shared was precious and life couldn't be better. Some ladies are in this fix holding on to the 'ghost of boyfriend of the past'. There are other examples like the loss of a loved one, emotional and domestic abuse, and loss of a job that can deprive women of attracting the kind of lives they desire.

Abimbola Victoria Oliyide, MBA comes to the rescue. Through her expertise and experience as a Mindset coach, she addresses such predicaments. As a mindset coach, she specialises in helping ladies heal from relationship hurts. She has helped hundreds of women move from average to 100%. Through her coaching and mentorship, many women have got rid of the baggage of relationship issues.

Are you in doubt of your life purpose? Do you struggle to find fulfillment? Are you stuck in life? Are you emotionally pained? Through personal life struggles as a teenager, Abimbola grew and developed a thick skin. From a personal experience, she uses her platform to inspire other women in similar situations.

It is possible to live your best life no matter your current status. In a chat with Omote Ro Dhe, Abimbola dissects reasons you need to have a mindset shift, how to get past relationship hurts, reaching self-actualisation, her key influences and more. 

Read excerpts of this explosive interview below:

Can you share your personal journey that led you to help women heal from relationship hurts and emotional pains?

I might have lived nine lives because I often wonder, how in the world did I get here? Despite the tough soil on which I have grown?

My life took a 360 degree at the age of 14.

I returned home from school and met my mom frantically moving things from the master bedroom to her room.

I was wondering what was happening, and then she broke the news:

“Daddy has died”

I felt numb. I just stood there and couldn’t process it.

It was the same day my baby brother turned a year old and invitations had gone out to all and sundry for the party on Saturday.

It was also 15 days to my 15th birthday.

Dad had been hospitalised for a while; he was due for discharge that Thursday

but Mom met his corpse at the hospital instead.

It was a huge blow.

It was the beginning, of the end. His family took everything from us.

It got so bad, that I was almost kicked out of secondary school a year after his demise because of school fees.

Family, left and right hurt us badly.

So, my story is that of one who has had her fair share of emotional pain.

I chose to keep standing every time I got knocked down.

Call me coconut head, but I won’t stay down.

Because the path of the righteous is a shining light that shines more and more unto a brighter day.

This is just family hurt, how many more hurtful people have I met along my journey?

Spiteful friends? Mean colleagues? Bullying?

Let’s not start with heartbreaks.

In closing, I do all I do today because someone out there needs to know that it is possible to thrive against all odds! Starting with myself, my mom, my brother, and my acquaintances.

Many women experience hurtful things, get stuck in it, are scarred and traumatised for life and can’t figure out how to thrive in the tough soil they are in, or the strategies for personal growth or mastery. Many experience stunted growth and feel no sense of worth.

This is why I do ALL that I do.

This is why I coach, mentor, encourage, empower, speak, sing, act, etc. I have walked in their shoes, so I show someone out there that they can overcome any relationship hurt.

What inspired you to focus on empowering women and helping them overcome self-doubt and past traumas?

The question I have been asked for many years by women has been “How do you do all you do”? This has inspired my focus on empowering women. Knowing how the surrounding circumstances disempowered my mom, how she has thrived over the years and looking into myself and understanding the grace we shared to have overcome with the help of God, I saw it as a calling that I must not keep the answers to myself, other women must be taught and shown how to get back up again. 

Self-doubt and past trauma if not addressed properly will lead to stunted growth, but not on my watch, you must become the highest version of yourself in every season of your life.

Can you list some women who have influenced you into the woman you have become and what endeared you to them?

My mom, Mrs Olajoju Odunusi. Her boldness and courage in the face of adversity. Her resilience over the years after losing it all including her business to the Tejuosho 2007 fire after Dad’s passing. My mom instilled so much confidence in me, she believed I could change the world by enrolling me in beauty pageants (lol). 

That was how I got to know about Agbani Darego, the first Nigerian and African to win the Miss World beauty pageant. She was my inspiration for the longest time, she showed me I am more than enough, I am the standard and that I should never be afraid to carry God anywhere.

As I grew older, I came across Oprah Winfrey the first black female billionaire in the world, she was the first to do it, so she also influenced me to dream BIG and inspire people.

By the time I was a full-grown adult and started working in the bank, I worked with Mrs Adijat Olaniyi-Olopade, Mrs Funke Smith, Mrs Ruth Atteh & Mrs Tosin Olu-Theophilus. 

As a banker, they showed me that you can be a female boss and be nurturing, kind and approachable. That you can be a professional woman and still have a home, they showed me strong women can marry right and shine without limitations. 

Finally, Pastor Iwalola Owolabi & Banke Sotomi have influenced me as a passionate female leader and coach to empower women and young people.

Can you describe the mindset shift you help women achieve to reposition themselves from average to Queen?

I mentioned earlier that a lot of women are stuck in the pain of what happened to them, their growth has become stunted. My job is to help them answer questions they have not been able to ask themselves, so they can have answers they didn’t know existed and then begin to see their situations from a different perspective. 

When the perspective shifts, the mindset of impossibility also shifts, thus opening them to a new world of possibilities and flourishing growth. Look at the metamorphosis that Queen Esther of the bible went through, from an average Jewish girl to a queen, that even the king was willing to give her up to half of his kingdom, that’s the repositioning about which we are talking.

If you could have any superpower to help you in your work, what would it be and why?

Amplification of my voice to be heard by those I am sent to for maximum impact, influence & liberation.

What are the key elements of your roadmap for helping women achieve self-actualisation and high-achieving status?

It begins with what brings you to me. It's not a one-size-fits-all approach, where you are in your journey will determine the roadmap we would design for your transformation. Every element is person-centred. However, my approach is centred on Divine wisdom, psychology and philosophy.

Success is relative. What does it mean to you? 

For a piece of me to be represented in every home world over in different dimensions & expressions unleashing the greatness of the consumer. A piece of me ranges from the Afrocentric jackets I design, to change the primitive narrative of Africa globally and help dropouts return to school through the income they earn when they work with my fashion company, to the worldwide streaming of my songs, YouTube videos and podcast, and empowering women through coaching, mentoring, speaking, books, online courses, etc. An amplification of the works of my hands transforming the lives I am sent to, that’s success to me.

What advice do you have for younger girls pursuing purpose?

Two things: First look within, then without. You were born loaded with purpose.

Your purpose is within you, you don’t pursue it. There is a spirit in you and the inspiration of the Almighty gives you understanding. You are first a spirit. So, connect with your spirit. Connect with the source of the real you, and then you will discover your purpose.

You are not too young to connect with the spirit within you to find out why you are here on earth, the earlier you find out, the earlier you can get to work and not wander on the wrong path. ];

Secondly, pay attention to the things that really upset you in our world and the things that really excite you, therein lies the clues to your purpose. Each of these things would come to you as mini-assignments that cumulate into full purpose. Purpose is the grand scheme of things, a cumulation and crescendo.

If you are faithful in the little assignments, the next level will unlock, up to the very peak and fullness of the entire purpose.

Remember, if God wills it, He will fund it. Don’t chase shadows.